MASK OR MENACE IC INBOX

[runningstart]

WALLY WEST
"You've reached the personal voice mail of the Wall-man. The honor is yours! Leave your deets, I'll holla back atcha."
[ BEEP. ]

KID FLASH
"This is the contact for Kid Flash. If it's an emergency, call Robin; he'll know where I am. Otherwise, leave your info and I'll get you back ASAP."
[ BEEP. ]


[ voice | text | email | action ]

( Please specify in tag subject line if the contact is for Wally West or Kid Flash! )

Comments

[performance]

How dare you.

[ He flops back against the pillows, back to his own comm, and he's quiet for a few long minutes. Then, out of nowhere: ]

... have you ever seen two giraffes fight?

[ He asks, like that's a completely normal and highly relevant question. ]

[runningstart]

Huh? [Wally glances down at him, a little thrown by the question.] ...no. I don't think so. Why, you got tickets to a giraffe fight or something?

[performance]

Uh-huh. Front row seats. You and me.

[ Dick smiles and rolls onto his side, holding his comm in front of Wally and pressing play on a video montage of giraffe fights, whirling their heads around like a carnival ride, locked in epic pool noodle-esque combat with their necks. It's... mind-blowingly ridiculous. ]

[runningstart]

[Wally leans over to watch, brow furrowed. The corner of his mouth quirks up.] What the heck... [He takes the other side of Robin's comm to help him support it.] I can't tell if this is really threatening or hilarious.

[performance]

It's kind of hilariously threatening.

[ He grins, watching Wally's smile out of the corner of his eye instead of the video. ]

[runningstart]

I kind of feel like raving to it. [Wally doesn't laugh during the video, but that half-smile stays on his face even after he hands Robin his comm back.] I don't know where you find this stuff dude. What's your browsing history even look like?

[performance]

That's the one thing I'll never tell you.

[ He scrolls some more, wiggling closer, and clicks on another video. ]

Check it out. These dogs don't know what mirrors are.

[runningstart]

[So Wally and Robin spend the next thirty minutes watching dumb animal clip after dumb animal clip. Wally even half-laughs a couple times, and he offers to go downstairs once the food arrives. He brings everything up with a couple forks, spreads it out on his bed and digs in. Yeah. He should probably change his sheets after this.]

Oh man dude, I'll never take crappy hot fast food for granted ever again.

[performance]

Dude, if we were back home, I'd buy you an entire Pizza Hut. But this'll have to do.

[ Dick busts open a box of chow mein and a pair of chopsticks, digging in. He'd neglected himself, too, while he'd been on the hunt. ]

[runningstart]

This is good, Rob. This is plenty. [Wally just stuffs his face, as per usual, though not with the same sick gusto he usually has.]

[performance]

You underestimate what a showoff I am.

[ Let him have his fantasies about presenting Wally with restaurant franchises with huge car commercial-style bows on top.

Dick holds out his box, sneaking a shrimp out of one next to Wally. ]

[runningstart]

You are seriously developing that Bruce Wayne playboy personality to its fullest potential, aren't you? [Wally actually allows Dick to take some shrimp, but he's going to take some of this beef lo mein in retaliation.]

[performance]

[ Wait, is that a compliment or a jab? Dick isn't sure, but he grins as he swallows a mouthful of shrimp. ]

Haha! Maybe. Is it working? [ he teases, and shoots Wally his best hello, ladies, I'm rich and single face. His smile's a little crooked, a little bit of sensitive boy band-style tenderness in there, but maybe that's on purpose. Either way, it isn't bad. Maybe he's been practicing. ]

[runningstart]

It's weird. I feel like I'm looking at a tabloid cover. [Wally meets Dick's best "I'm a handsome young millionaire" expression with his own "no table-manners kid from Missouri" stuffed cheeks.]

[performance]

That's what I'm going for. That or maybe Teen People.

[runningstart]

If I ever see a picture of you on one of those things I'm going to start making a scrapbook. And then I'm going to sell it to the highest bidder.

[performance]

I'm flattered that you think anyone would actually buy that besides you.

[runningstart]

Maybe not here, but back home? You bet someone would. I bet if I put it up online with a few exclusive pictures, I could sell it for at least a grand.

[performance]

Teen girl bait pictures or embarrassing pictures?

[runningstart]

I'll probably get more money for teen girl bait pictures, so like...you being all suave and whatever. Flipping your hair. [Wally takes Dick's box of orange chicken while he's distracted.]

[performance]

Oh yeah. And like one with my shirt half open standing near a beach but not actually on the beach. And maybe one where I'm snuggling a puppy. They go nuts for that.

[ It's okay, there's still pizza for them to get through. He opens a box, taking a slice. ]

[runningstart]

You're kind of getting into this idea, I think you want to do the pretty playboy photo shoot. [don't mind wally just gonna grab a piece of pizza also- oh ew he's putting chinese food on it and wrapping it up like a burrito]

[performance]

[ Dick is somehow unfazed. ]

I'm just helping you out with your business plan, dude.

[ That and he likes attention. ]

[runningstart]

No, I'm pretty sure you just like the attention. [For being so secretive, Dick sure does love the spotlight.]

[performance]

It can be both. That's called philanthropy.