MASK OR MENACE IC INBOX

[runningstart]

WALLY WEST
"You've reached the personal voice mail of the Wall-man. The honor is yours! Leave your deets, I'll holla back atcha."
[ BEEP. ]

KID FLASH
"This is the contact for Kid Flash. If it's an emergency, call Robin; he'll know where I am. Otherwise, leave your info and I'll get you back ASAP."
[ BEEP. ]


[ voice | text | email | action ]

( Please specify in tag subject line if the contact is for Wally West or Kid Flash! )

Comments

[performance]

That's the one thing I'll never tell you.

[ He scrolls some more, wiggling closer, and clicks on another video. ]

Check it out. These dogs don't know what mirrors are.

[runningstart]

[So Wally and Robin spend the next thirty minutes watching dumb animal clip after dumb animal clip. Wally even half-laughs a couple times, and he offers to go downstairs once the food arrives. He brings everything up with a couple forks, spreads it out on his bed and digs in. Yeah. He should probably change his sheets after this.]

Oh man dude, I'll never take crappy hot fast food for granted ever again.

[performance]

Dude, if we were back home, I'd buy you an entire Pizza Hut. But this'll have to do.

[ Dick busts open a box of chow mein and a pair of chopsticks, digging in. He'd neglected himself, too, while he'd been on the hunt. ]

[runningstart]

This is good, Rob. This is plenty. [Wally just stuffs his face, as per usual, though not with the same sick gusto he usually has.]

[performance]

You underestimate what a showoff I am.

[ Let him have his fantasies about presenting Wally with restaurant franchises with huge car commercial-style bows on top.

Dick holds out his box, sneaking a shrimp out of one next to Wally. ]

[runningstart]

You are seriously developing that Bruce Wayne playboy personality to its fullest potential, aren't you? [Wally actually allows Dick to take some shrimp, but he's going to take some of this beef lo mein in retaliation.]

[performance]

[ Wait, is that a compliment or a jab? Dick isn't sure, but he grins as he swallows a mouthful of shrimp. ]

Haha! Maybe. Is it working? [ he teases, and shoots Wally his best hello, ladies, I'm rich and single face. His smile's a little crooked, a little bit of sensitive boy band-style tenderness in there, but maybe that's on purpose. Either way, it isn't bad. Maybe he's been practicing. ]

[runningstart]

It's weird. I feel like I'm looking at a tabloid cover. [Wally meets Dick's best "I'm a handsome young millionaire" expression with his own "no table-manners kid from Missouri" stuffed cheeks.]

[performance]

That's what I'm going for. That or maybe Teen People.

[runningstart]

If I ever see a picture of you on one of those things I'm going to start making a scrapbook. And then I'm going to sell it to the highest bidder.

[performance]

I'm flattered that you think anyone would actually buy that besides you.

[runningstart]

Maybe not here, but back home? You bet someone would. I bet if I put it up online with a few exclusive pictures, I could sell it for at least a grand.

[performance]

Teen girl bait pictures or embarrassing pictures?

[runningstart]

I'll probably get more money for teen girl bait pictures, so like...you being all suave and whatever. Flipping your hair. [Wally takes Dick's box of orange chicken while he's distracted.]

[performance]

Oh yeah. And like one with my shirt half open standing near a beach but not actually on the beach. And maybe one where I'm snuggling a puppy. They go nuts for that.

[ It's okay, there's still pizza for them to get through. He opens a box, taking a slice. ]

[runningstart]

You're kind of getting into this idea, I think you want to do the pretty playboy photo shoot. [don't mind wally just gonna grab a piece of pizza also- oh ew he's putting chinese food on it and wrapping it up like a burrito]

[performance]

[ Dick is somehow unfazed. ]

I'm just helping you out with your business plan, dude.

[ That and he likes attention. ]

[runningstart]

No, I'm pretty sure you just like the attention. [For being so secretive, Dick sure does love the spotlight.]

[performance]

It can be both. That's called philanthropy.

[runningstart]

Th-hah- That is not the definition of philanthropy dude, you are so far off you're practically on Pluto. [Oh look, a laugh. Finally.]

[performance]

[ INTERNAL FISTPUMP ]

'scuse me, but, uh, I'm pretty sure I know what the definition of philanthropy is, seeing as how I'm the one who's being groomed to inherit 37 zillion dollars and flirt with rich girls at charity balls while nibbling on shrimp that cost more than some people's houses.

[runningstart]

Oh my god, nothing about that sentence you just said wasn't disgusting. I just want you to be aware of that. [Wally's doing that gross fast food burrito thing again.]

[performance]

You're just saying that because you're not on the guest list.

[runningstart]

What the h- What d'you mean, I'm not on the guest list?!

[performance]

[ He "tsk tsk"s facetiously. ]

Do you even own a tuxedo?