MASK OR MENACE IC INBOX

[runningstart]

WALLY WEST
"You've reached the personal voice mail of the Wall-man. The honor is yours! Leave your deets, I'll holla back atcha."
[ BEEP. ]

KID FLASH
"This is the contact for Kid Flash. If it's an emergency, call Robin; he'll know where I am. Otherwise, leave your info and I'll get you back ASAP."
[ BEEP. ]


[ voice | text | email | action ]

( Please specify in tag subject line if the contact is for Wally West or Kid Flash! )

Comments

[performance]

It can be both. That's called philanthropy.

[runningstart]

Th-hah- That is not the definition of philanthropy dude, you are so far off you're practically on Pluto. [Oh look, a laugh. Finally.]

[performance]

[ INTERNAL FISTPUMP ]

'scuse me, but, uh, I'm pretty sure I know what the definition of philanthropy is, seeing as how I'm the one who's being groomed to inherit 37 zillion dollars and flirt with rich girls at charity balls while nibbling on shrimp that cost more than some people's houses.

[runningstart]

Oh my god, nothing about that sentence you just said wasn't disgusting. I just want you to be aware of that. [Wally's doing that gross fast food burrito thing again.]

[performance]

You're just saying that because you're not on the guest list.

[runningstart]

What the h- What d'you mean, I'm not on the guest list?!

[performance]

[ He "tsk tsk"s facetiously. ]

Do you even own a tuxedo?

[runningstart]

Who the hell owns a tuxedo?!

[performance]

Everyone on the guest list.

[runningstart]

[Wally whacks him in the face with a pillow.]

[performance]

[ He goes down cackling. ]

Haha! Oh man, you're so jealous! I knew it!

[runningstart]

I'm not jealous of your stupid- Beverly Hills, Monopoly-man level of richness, you- [Okay this pillow beating is going to require the use of two hands, food aside.]

[performance]

[ Dick squawks, trying to roll out of the way and crushing a pizza box under him. ]

I could— ack!— add you, but you're— haha, dude, watch the noodles!

[runningstart]

I'm what, you little twerp?! I'm too poor? [headlock]

[performance]

—gkk! Yeah, everyone'll be like, wow, Grayson, slumming it much?

[ SQUIRMIN' ]

All over the tabloids — Handsome Rich Boy Invites Weird Ginger to Society Ball, Embarrasses Everyone —

[ Dick executes a complicated anti-headlock maneuver that involves a precision attack to where Wally's ticklish and rolling away, knocking over the orange chicken. ]

[runningstart]

Weird ginger-! Oh that is- whoa-! [Wally whimpers at the loss of the chicken, but chasing Robin around his room his more important.]

[performance]

Weirdest ginger!

[ It's not a very good chase, with Dick's broken leg and the tiny size of the room, but he does succeed in latching onto Wally and sending them both crashing to the floor in a pile, which starts one of Dick's laughing fits.]

[runningstart]

[Oh great we're at this point now. There's no way Dick's calming down any time soon; that's his shrieking laughter he's sporting, that's good for at least five minutes.

So Wally, crumpled atop him, just reaches for the squashed pizza box and fishes out a slice to eat.]

God, and you call me weird.

[performance]

[ He tries to calm down and take deep breaths, and it works for about five seconds...

... until he lets out another high-pitched wheezing giggle, and that starts the whole thing over again until he gets lightheaded and almost passes out. ]

[runningstart]

[Ugh god and that squeaky laugh is as annoying as it is charming. Wally gives Robin the flattest look he can, then drops his weight a little more solidly on him, making him wheeze.]

[performance]

Heeeee! Dude— [ snerk ] y-your pizza weight— crushing— can't breathe—

[ CACKLING ]

[runningstart]

Oh is that too heavy? Oh man, I better not- uh oh, not the lo mein! Ohhh nooo- [om om nom om]

[performance]

[ EXAGGERATED CHOKING NOISES BETWEEN GIGGLES ]

[runningstart]

Yeah I thought so. [Wally whumps down on Robin even harder before finally rolling off of him. He's going to try and save the orange chicken by eating it as quickly as he can.]

[performance]

[ Dick wheezes, finally winding down, and sprawls halfway across Wally's shins as he catches his breath and wipes tears from the corners of his eyes. ]

Ohhh, jeez, I think I'm gonna pass out. Haha! Ow, ow, my face hurts, it's all tingly...