MASK OR MENACE IC INBOX

[runningstart]

WALLY WEST
"You've reached the personal voice mail of the Wall-man. The honor is yours! Leave your deets, I'll holla back atcha."
[ BEEP. ]

KID FLASH
"This is the contact for Kid Flash. If it's an emergency, call Robin; he'll know where I am. Otherwise, leave your info and I'll get you back ASAP."
[ BEEP. ]


[ voice | text | email | action ]

( Please specify in tag subject line if the contact is for Wally West or Kid Flash! )

Comments

[runningstart]

Maybe not here, but back home? You bet someone would. I bet if I put it up online with a few exclusive pictures, I could sell it for at least a grand.

[performance]

Teen girl bait pictures or embarrassing pictures?

[runningstart]

I'll probably get more money for teen girl bait pictures, so like...you being all suave and whatever. Flipping your hair. [Wally takes Dick's box of orange chicken while he's distracted.]

[performance]

Oh yeah. And like one with my shirt half open standing near a beach but not actually on the beach. And maybe one where I'm snuggling a puppy. They go nuts for that.

[ It's okay, there's still pizza for them to get through. He opens a box, taking a slice. ]

[runningstart]

You're kind of getting into this idea, I think you want to do the pretty playboy photo shoot. [don't mind wally just gonna grab a piece of pizza also- oh ew he's putting chinese food on it and wrapping it up like a burrito]

[performance]

[ Dick is somehow unfazed. ]

I'm just helping you out with your business plan, dude.

[ That and he likes attention. ]

[runningstart]

No, I'm pretty sure you just like the attention. [For being so secretive, Dick sure does love the spotlight.]

[performance]

It can be both. That's called philanthropy.

[runningstart]

Th-hah- That is not the definition of philanthropy dude, you are so far off you're practically on Pluto. [Oh look, a laugh. Finally.]

[performance]

[ INTERNAL FISTPUMP ]

'scuse me, but, uh, I'm pretty sure I know what the definition of philanthropy is, seeing as how I'm the one who's being groomed to inherit 37 zillion dollars and flirt with rich girls at charity balls while nibbling on shrimp that cost more than some people's houses.

[runningstart]

Oh my god, nothing about that sentence you just said wasn't disgusting. I just want you to be aware of that. [Wally's doing that gross fast food burrito thing again.]

[performance]

You're just saying that because you're not on the guest list.

[runningstart]

What the h- What d'you mean, I'm not on the guest list?!

[performance]

[ He "tsk tsk"s facetiously. ]

Do you even own a tuxedo?

[runningstart]

Who the hell owns a tuxedo?!

[performance]

Everyone on the guest list.

[runningstart]

[Wally whacks him in the face with a pillow.]

[performance]

[ He goes down cackling. ]

Haha! Oh man, you're so jealous! I knew it!

[runningstart]

I'm not jealous of your stupid- Beverly Hills, Monopoly-man level of richness, you- [Okay this pillow beating is going to require the use of two hands, food aside.]

[performance]

[ Dick squawks, trying to roll out of the way and crushing a pizza box under him. ]

I could— ack!— add you, but you're— haha, dude, watch the noodles!

[runningstart]

I'm what, you little twerp?! I'm too poor? [headlock]

[performance]

—gkk! Yeah, everyone'll be like, wow, Grayson, slumming it much?

[ SQUIRMIN' ]

All over the tabloids — Handsome Rich Boy Invites Weird Ginger to Society Ball, Embarrasses Everyone —

[ Dick executes a complicated anti-headlock maneuver that involves a precision attack to where Wally's ticklish and rolling away, knocking over the orange chicken. ]

[runningstart]

Weird ginger-! Oh that is- whoa-! [Wally whimpers at the loss of the chicken, but chasing Robin around his room his more important.]

[performance]

Weirdest ginger!

[ It's not a very good chase, with Dick's broken leg and the tiny size of the room, but he does succeed in latching onto Wally and sending them both crashing to the floor in a pile, which starts one of Dick's laughing fits.]

[runningstart]

[Oh great we're at this point now. There's no way Dick's calming down any time soon; that's his shrieking laughter he's sporting, that's good for at least five minutes.

So Wally, crumpled atop him, just reaches for the squashed pizza box and fishes out a slice to eat.]

God, and you call me weird.