MASK OR MENACE IC INBOX

[runningstart]

WALLY WEST
"You've reached the personal voice mail of the Wall-man. The honor is yours! Leave your deets, I'll holla back atcha."
[ BEEP. ]

KID FLASH
"This is the contact for Kid Flash. If it's an emergency, call Robin; he'll know where I am. Otherwise, leave your info and I'll get you back ASAP."
[ BEEP. ]


[ voice | text | email | action ]

( Please specify in tag subject line if the contact is for Wally West or Kid Flash! )

Comments

text

[tardily]

i'm not scared of him? not any more i guess. i used to be but that's before i had a name to place with the evil. but he rattles me a lot, because this is a guy i thought was a friend. someone who could help me with my speed and who helped me and my friends bring in metahumans and protect people. and he did those things, just also hated me from the future and wanted to murder me. and threatens people i care about when things don't go his way.

i know you are, wally. and i appreciate it. even if you're yelling and i'm yelling back.

i just don't want anything bad to happen and there needs to be a plan or this will spiral out beyond anyone's control. and i think we can agree, that's a bad thing.

text

[runningstart]

[THAT'S what it is, that's what makes Wally so uncomfortable talking to this Barry. It's the sincerity. His uncle gets like that too, but having known Wally for years his uncle has long since learned how to deal with Wally's flippancy.]

scared of what he could or can or might do then

we can dig a really deep hole and put him in there and occasionally drop food down into it honestly thats the most humane thing i can come up with

text

[tardily]

to other people, yeah. he can do whatever he wants to me.

does he get an umbrella for if it rains or is too sunny? let me make sure i can't think of anything that's slightly less noticeable before we jump to that. can you do that for me? i know, proactive and we don't need to just sit on our butts. but just trust me on this one. just this once, please.

text - this notif got lost I'm sorry!!

[runningstart]

r u asking if i can dig a hole for u because maybe i have one prepared

Re: text

[runningstart]

but fine

hes your villain ill leave him up to you

text shhh it happens to all of us

[tardily]

maybe. you mean you do and i should be a little disappointed but i'm actually a little impressed. that is some definite proactive action going on.

you're kid flash, wally. i do like your input. especially since you're one of the other good flashes.

and if i decide the hole's the best place, you're the one who already had the hole prepared, and i actually appreciate it.

[ Sad fact of the day: He honestly does appreciate it, even if it's also a little horrifying. ]

text

[runningstart]

[stop being impressed and be mostly horrified]

i also have a lake with a giant alligator in an undisclosed location

jsyk what u have 2 work with

text

[tardily]

i think what you just described is illegal? on a lot of fronts? i'm also a little concerned about how you got said giant alligator.

[ and there goes the horror.

congrats he's now just horrified. ]

Re: text

[runningstart]

one of my teammates adopted her like conan the barbarian but then he got ported out

what was i supposed to do with her im not gonna put her out on the street
the swamp street

sb would never forgive me

[tardily]

zoo?????

are you feeding her? i mean i'm assuming you're responsible enough to do that but also deadly creature that likes to go chomp chomp on people.

not in particular speedster people, more like equal opportunity chomp chomp.

[runningstart]

no????? sb made it very clear zoos are like animal orphanages slash prisons so thats a negatory

besides i feed her do you think im cruel am i a cruel person
the answer is no im not of course not

plus the lake feeds into one of the lakes in the woods she does a lot of hunting out there so i barely have to do anything which is great because her appetite is stupid huge like im talking rivaling ME

[tardily]

they also have people who are TRAINED to take care of the things that go chomp chomp. and i'm pretty sure some of them have mom + dad + baby when it comes to the animals.

NO. IT'S JUST. even the kindest of people might not feed her. but you're clearly the kindest person in the universe and are immune to such ideas like that.

but not toppling yours. wally, i have no doubts you eat food like we're going to suddenly lose all sources of food, because i know my own metabolism nowadays and i might as well just eat my weight in food every day but I THINK SHE MIGHT EAT MORE THAN YOU. just maybe.

[runningstart]

sb said no zoos and if he ever comes back here im not gonna tell him to his face that i shoved his pet into a zoo because i didnt want to take care of her

he has enough people letting him down he doesnt need one more

about five minutes later.

[tardily]

noted. no zoos, i mean we could ask a zookeeper to come look at her though. or a vet or zoo vet. since pretty sure that regular vets are not equipped to handle that.

and i'm just saying it might be cruel to have her eat him. tbh if anyone'd survive getting eaten by her, it might be his stubborn self. because why die when his grudge hasn't been fulfilled.

and her dying because he came back up is a definite no go.

[runningstart]

ok fine we WILL NOT feed ur nemesis to the alligator

just yet
but the plan is on the table

[tardily]

you make it very hard to discourage this bad idea.

i hope you enjoy knowing that.

it's only bad because feeding people to animals is bad, mostly because it's murder. ish. a form of murder.

i appreciate the plan being on the table though. seriously. i'm not kidding wally. really really appreciate the option.

[runningstart]

wow ok now ur just embarrassing urself stop thanking me already

[tardily]

you will take my thanks and enjoy it wally. just let the thanks wash over you. enjoy knowing that i deeply appreciate the slightly misguided option.

:D i'll stop now. promise. :D