MASK OR MENACE IC INBOX

[runningstart]

WALLY WEST
"You've reached the personal voice mail of the Wall-man. The honor is yours! Leave your deets, I'll holla back atcha."
[ BEEP. ]

KID FLASH
"This is the contact for Kid Flash. If it's an emergency, call Robin; he'll know where I am. Otherwise, leave your info and I'll get you back ASAP."
[ BEEP. ]


[ voice | text | email | action ]

( Please specify in tag subject line if the contact is for Wally West or Kid Flash! )

Comments

[performance]

... Dude. Back up. Seriously, you can bake?

[runningstart]

It's chemistry! [HUFF.] When I was little my mom would ask me to help, and I liked seeing how ingredients reacted when mixed together and she'd explain the science to me to get me interested. None of the stuff I make comes out looking all pretty, but it tastes good so yeah, I can bake.

And like I said, don't tell anybody! This is a West family secret that I am revealing to you. Nobody must know about my true powers.

[performance]

I'm not gonna make fun of you, calm down. I mean— [ He gestures widely at the mess he's made of the kitchen. ] I spent who knows how many hours in the kitchen with nothing to show for it. I kind of have a newfound appreciation for this.

... But your secret's safe with me. I'll take it to my grave.

[runningstart]

[baking is not cool or tough or manly and directly contrasts wally's idealized vision of what a hero is so yeah

Of course a lot of his childhood consists of direct contradictions to what he think a hero is so there's that. PROBABLY WHY HE BLEW HIMSELF UP ehhehheh. Heh.]

It's really not that tough, it's just easy to make mistakes. You gotta use like five ingredients that look exactly alike and if you get the measurements wrong then it's a chemical disaster. C'mere. [Wally pulls over the book Robin was using and takes out a pair of clean bowls.] Oh dude, you were doing it from scratch? Are you a masochist?

[performance]

[ Well, Alfred is the most heroic person Dick knows, so.

He heads over to Wally's side, thumbs hooked through his belt loops so he fidgets less. Gotta recover at least a little tiny bit of his dignity. ]

I started with a box, but... that didn't go so well. And then I just kinda worked with what I had left. And that didn't go so well either.

[runningstart]

[A miracle occurs and Wally wisely manages not to ask Robin how a person screws up cake from a box. That would just be...yeah.

Instead he makes Robin do all of it himself but stands over him and stops him if he's about to make a mistake. Wally wanders, half-heartedly cleans up a little, fetches an apple from the fridge and sits up on the island as Robin combines the wet and dry ingredients.] Hey, did you taste any of the batter before you put the cakes in the oven?

[performance]

[ He does a lot better with careful instructions, and it might be in part because he's not psyching himself out over what a cake means for his relationship with his best friend and his sense of self-worth. (Batman really did a number on this kid.) ]

I didn't. Should I?

[runningstart]

Hell yeah; always double-check your work, mathlete. [Wally slides off the counter and sticks a finger right into the batter before sucking it.] That's good. You can always tell if there's way too much baking soda or salt or whatever if you taste it.

[performance]

[ Dick snorts at the mathlete comment, but does the same, scraping batter off the inner side of the bowl and sucking his finger. ]

Hmm. It tastes edible, at least. I mean, I wouldn't torture someone with it.

[runningstart]

[excuse wally is just taking a spoon to the batter]

Yeah, agreed. Also always triple check your work. I mean, this is my cake you're assembling and all.

[performance]

Dude, there's not gonna be any cake left!

[runningstart]

Tha'ss cool, s'just a tes's run, [Wally says around the spoon before digging it back into the bowl.]

[performance]

So— it's actually good?

[runningstart]

Yeah dude, it tastes awesome. Go on, help yourself. [but not too much ok this is his bowl of chocolate cake batter]

[performance]

[ That's all the permission he needs before he's grabbing a spoonful for himself. ]

Mmmdude you're amazing. Why'd you keep this a secret for so long?

[runningstart]

I'm already in high enough demand, dude. Imagine if this got out. [That is absolutely not the reason and Wally doesn't feel like talking about why so he'll just shove chocolate batter into his pie hole, please and thank.] Besides, if you recall I didn't make this. You did.

[performance]

[ Dick just snorts, soft and good-natured, and doesn't rib him about it for once. He didn't tease Dick about the cake thing. It's only fair. ]

Hey, I couldn't have done it without you. This cake is like, our baby.

[runningstart]

Our delicious baby. Her name is Victoria and her life will be so, so short. [Wally spoons more batter into his mouth. Yeah there will be no cake made this day.]

[performance]

Short and sweet. She will live on in our memories... always.

[runningstart]

She better hope she lives on in our memories, because in about five minutes she won't be living on anywhere else. [brutal, wally, just brutal]

[performance]

So, not to question your glamorous lifestyle, but are you sure you should be eating an entire bowl of batter? I mean, you're not gonna be groaning on the couch in ten minutes, are you? Because that'd seriously defeat the purpose of this whole operation.

[ He pokes Wally cautiously in the stomach. ]

[runningstart]

[Wally swats halfheartedly at Robin's hand with his spoon.] I've done worse dude, trust me.

[performance]

Just making sure. Science has yet to understand the mysteries of your digestive system.

[runningstart]

[Wally locates a spatula and scrapes the sides of the bowl.] Nah, don't worry about it. When I eat all the food gets almost instantly metabolized. It's literally impossible for me to overeat.

[performance]

... See, that's part of why I've been... [ He rubs the back of his neck. ] You know. Doing the food thing. We've only got each other here, so...