MASK OR MENACE IC INBOX

[runningstart]

WALLY WEST
"You've reached the personal voice mail of the Wall-man. The honor is yours! Leave your deets, I'll holla back atcha."
[ BEEP. ]

KID FLASH
"This is the contact for Kid Flash. If it's an emergency, call Robin; he'll know where I am. Otherwise, leave your info and I'll get you back ASAP."
[ BEEP. ]


[ voice | text | email | action ]

( Please specify in tag subject line if the contact is for Wally West or Kid Flash! )

Comments

[performance]

I'm not gonna make fun of you, calm down. I mean— [ He gestures widely at the mess he's made of the kitchen. ] I spent who knows how many hours in the kitchen with nothing to show for it. I kind of have a newfound appreciation for this.

... But your secret's safe with me. I'll take it to my grave.

[runningstart]

[baking is not cool or tough or manly and directly contrasts wally's idealized vision of what a hero is so yeah

Of course a lot of his childhood consists of direct contradictions to what he think a hero is so there's that. PROBABLY WHY HE BLEW HIMSELF UP ehhehheh. Heh.]

It's really not that tough, it's just easy to make mistakes. You gotta use like five ingredients that look exactly alike and if you get the measurements wrong then it's a chemical disaster. C'mere. [Wally pulls over the book Robin was using and takes out a pair of clean bowls.] Oh dude, you were doing it from scratch? Are you a masochist?

[performance]

[ Well, Alfred is the most heroic person Dick knows, so.

He heads over to Wally's side, thumbs hooked through his belt loops so he fidgets less. Gotta recover at least a little tiny bit of his dignity. ]

I started with a box, but... that didn't go so well. And then I just kinda worked with what I had left. And that didn't go so well either.

[runningstart]

[A miracle occurs and Wally wisely manages not to ask Robin how a person screws up cake from a box. That would just be...yeah.

Instead he makes Robin do all of it himself but stands over him and stops him if he's about to make a mistake. Wally wanders, half-heartedly cleans up a little, fetches an apple from the fridge and sits up on the island as Robin combines the wet and dry ingredients.] Hey, did you taste any of the batter before you put the cakes in the oven?

[performance]

[ He does a lot better with careful instructions, and it might be in part because he's not psyching himself out over what a cake means for his relationship with his best friend and his sense of self-worth. (Batman really did a number on this kid.) ]

I didn't. Should I?

[runningstart]

Hell yeah; always double-check your work, mathlete. [Wally slides off the counter and sticks a finger right into the batter before sucking it.] That's good. You can always tell if there's way too much baking soda or salt or whatever if you taste it.

[performance]

[ Dick snorts at the mathlete comment, but does the same, scraping batter off the inner side of the bowl and sucking his finger. ]

Hmm. It tastes edible, at least. I mean, I wouldn't torture someone with it.

[runningstart]

[excuse wally is just taking a spoon to the batter]

Yeah, agreed. Also always triple check your work. I mean, this is my cake you're assembling and all.

[performance]

Dude, there's not gonna be any cake left!

[runningstart]

Tha'ss cool, s'just a tes's run, [Wally says around the spoon before digging it back into the bowl.]

[performance]

So— it's actually good?

[runningstart]

Yeah dude, it tastes awesome. Go on, help yourself. [but not too much ok this is his bowl of chocolate cake batter]

[performance]

[ That's all the permission he needs before he's grabbing a spoonful for himself. ]

Mmmdude you're amazing. Why'd you keep this a secret for so long?

[runningstart]

I'm already in high enough demand, dude. Imagine if this got out. [That is absolutely not the reason and Wally doesn't feel like talking about why so he'll just shove chocolate batter into his pie hole, please and thank.] Besides, if you recall I didn't make this. You did.

[performance]

[ Dick just snorts, soft and good-natured, and doesn't rib him about it for once. He didn't tease Dick about the cake thing. It's only fair. ]

Hey, I couldn't have done it without you. This cake is like, our baby.

[runningstart]

Our delicious baby. Her name is Victoria and her life will be so, so short. [Wally spoons more batter into his mouth. Yeah there will be no cake made this day.]

[performance]

Short and sweet. She will live on in our memories... always.

[runningstart]

She better hope she lives on in our memories, because in about five minutes she won't be living on anywhere else. [brutal, wally, just brutal]

[performance]

So, not to question your glamorous lifestyle, but are you sure you should be eating an entire bowl of batter? I mean, you're not gonna be groaning on the couch in ten minutes, are you? Because that'd seriously defeat the purpose of this whole operation.

[ He pokes Wally cautiously in the stomach. ]

[runningstart]

[Wally swats halfheartedly at Robin's hand with his spoon.] I've done worse dude, trust me.

[performance]

Just making sure. Science has yet to understand the mysteries of your digestive system.

[runningstart]

[Wally locates a spatula and scrapes the sides of the bowl.] Nah, don't worry about it. When I eat all the food gets almost instantly metabolized. It's literally impossible for me to overeat.

[performance]

... See, that's part of why I've been... [ He rubs the back of his neck. ] You know. Doing the food thing. We've only got each other here, so...

[runningstart]

[Wally almost says 'and Artemis' before his expression sours.

Not enough breakfast? And you've been running an obstacle course in speed mode? What is wrong with you? Come on, we should find something to eat.]

Yeah. [He looks away and sets the bowl in the sink.] Yeah, you're right. Anyway, uh. Thanks. For all of this, seriously. I mean it, dude.

[performance]

[ He'd meant the team while also trying to avoid exactly that word, but when Wally's expression goes dark he realizes he's touched a nerve anyway. He can guess what that's about. ]

Don't mention it.

[ He wonders if he's gonna regret saying something about it. Probably, he thinks, but he knows from experience that they're not just gonna get over it on their own. And if he says something Wally doesn't want to hear— well, isn't that what a best pal's for? ]

But look, Wally— I meant all of us.