MASK OR MENACE IC INBOX

[runningstart]

WALLY WEST
"You've reached the personal voice mail of the Wall-man. The honor is yours! Leave your deets, I'll holla back atcha."
[ BEEP. ]

KID FLASH
"This is the contact for Kid Flash. If it's an emergency, call Robin; he'll know where I am. Otherwise, leave your info and I'll get you back ASAP."
[ BEEP. ]


[ voice | text | email | action ]

( Please specify in tag subject line if the contact is for Wally West or Kid Flash! )

Comments

[performance]

Hey.

[ He walks up behind Wally's chair, resting his chin atop his friend's head, hands on his shoulders. ]

This stuff again?

[runningstart]

This stuff always, dude. Until I figure it out. [He closes the notebook anyway and pushes it aside with a sigh.] Feel better now that you see me?

[performance]

I always feel better when I see you.

[ Simple and honest, and Wally gets a gentle little headbutt before Robin hugs him from behind. Even as banged up as Robin is (broken nose, bruised ribs, a dozen cuts and scratches from a dozen different fights), even with everything hanging over them after Wally's confession, he feels steadier just being in his presence. He hopes it's the same for Wally, even if Robin can't do much else for him. ]

[runningstart]

[Robin doesn't lay that sort of thing down so openly and easily, so that he's doing it now means an awful lot. Wally reaches up to hold onto Robin's wrists, brow furrowing.]

Even when I bruise your ribs?

[performance]

C'mon, I can't get all bent out of shape every time one of my friends gets a little mind controlled and knocks me around.

[ What does it say about their lives that that's actually true? ]

What about you? All healed already?

[runningstart]

Fit as a fiddle. [Not quite. His rib aches a little, but he's not about to complain about it when he sees Robin limping around the apartment and wincing when he gets up.] I'm telling you dude if I could share this, I would. In a heartbeat.

[performance]

I know you would. I guess I'll just have to take advantage of your space heater powers instead.

[ He tightens that hug a bit, leaning more heavily against Wally's back. ]

... I wish you didn't have to feel this helpless.

[runningstart]

[Wally tilts his head back until it bumps Robin's shoulder, reaching up behind him to link his hands behind Robin's back.] I wish you didn't have to feel this helpless. I know I'm not the only one in this, dude. It sucks for everybody.

[performance]

[ It's an awkward position, but somehow comfortable anyway. He rests his cheek against Wally's hair. ]

It does. But dude, you're allowed to be a little selfish about this. I mean... have you considered that maybe part of the reason things got this bad is because you're holding so much of it in? You're spending so much time trying to take care of other people, hiding things because you're worrying about their reaction, that you're not letting yourself process anything.

[runningstart]

What the heck am I supposed to process? [Wally asks in exasperation, throwing his hands up before clapping them back down.] If you’re talking about the five stages of grief then you can save it. I am not going to counseling for my future death.

[performance]

It'd be one thing if you were ignoring it, Wally, or saying "if it happens, it happens." But you're obviously thinking about it.

[ He waves one hand down at the notebook. ]

[runningstart]

Obviously trying to think of ways to stop it, dude. What else can I do about this? My only other choices are to either have a nervous breakdown or roll over and accept it. [He's bad at that second one. Though the first option is starting to sound appealing.]

[performance]

I'm not saying you shouldn't try to stop it. Please, dude, do try to stop it. But the way you're doing things— I mean, I didn't even know it had gotten this bad, because you're so good at not showing fear or weakness or anything.

[runningstart]

[gonna shoot for levity!!!] Thank you, I do try my darnedest.

[performance]

Yeah, yeah, you're very hardcore. [ Eyeroll. ] But you know what I mean.

[performance]

You know what's weird? We throw ourselves into danger every day like it's nothing. We all know any mission we go on could be our last. But Bart saying that this happened in his timeline messed everything up this bad.

[runningstart]

Knowing about it is worse, I guess. [There's something really painfully raw about discussing this so openly, but in a good way. Like flushing out an infected wound.] Then you get time to think. Survival instincts have a chance to kick in.

[performance]

[ It's hard for Dick, too, but part of him, even now, is thinking about it abstractly. Like a puzzle to be solved, rather than his best friend looking down the barrel of a gun. ]

I can't imagine.

[ It's true; he's tried and tried to put himself in Wally's shoes, wondering how it would feel if it was him. If someone told him he had five years. Maybe he doesn't have the imagination for it. It's strange, though — he wants things for his best friend that he can't even conceptualize for himself. A family. Kids. A college degree. Dick certainly doesn't have a death wish, but it feels so much more inherently unfair for something like this to happen to Wally. ]

I don't believe that it's final. I can't. We have tons of resources at our disposal, right? And time, and knowledge... most people don't get anything even close to that. [ He squeezes Wally's shoulder. ] But... dude, I'm worried about you. Now-you. It's eating you up, I can tell. It's like you're trying so hard to prevent this from happening in the future that you're wrecking your present.

[runningstart]

[Wally heaves a sigh through his nose, but that he's not just running his mouth immediately at least means he's thinking about it. He is, he really is. And he gets what Dick is trying to say; no matter how urgent the issue, wrecking himself now isn't going to help. The brain operates in a diminished capacity when low on sleep, when stressed out and hungry and etc etc. He knows that. Basic biology.]

You know I threw up? A few days ago.

[performance]

What? What happened?

[runningstart]

I dunno, man. I was eating, and then I started freaking out and then I just kind of. Puked, right there in the kitchen trash. It was gross.

...I haven't thrown up in years.

[performance]

Dude...

[ Dick finally untangles himself from the hug, sliding around to sit as best he can on the arm of Wally's chair. He leaves one arm draped over Wally's shoulders as he looks down at him. ]

Kind of sounds like you had a panic attack. That's normal. Especially given the circumstances.

[runningstart]

[Wally leans over to make room.] Yeah, I guess it was. [He's all calm about it now. Or maybe he's just tired.] Anyway. Point is, I get what you're saying. This...isn't gonna work out forever.

[performance]

Yeah... no one can sustain that kind of tension forever. You'll burn up.

... I miss seeing you happy, that's all. It seems like half of you is always somewhere else lately. And it's weird. I mean, you always threw yourself completely into everything you did. That's part of what drew me to you when we first met — you know, a million years ago.

[runningstart]

Ah geez, Rob, don't. [Wally turns his face away, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Robin is right, of course; Wally's schoolwork and research has been suffering because of the lack of sleep and his inability to pay attention. He even had his science teacher hold him after class to ask if everything was all right at home.]