Technically, I think everybody here is. [Unless they're a supervillain. Fucking Crane.
Wally tosses his uniform onto Tadashi's couch, though he does pause for a minute after their eyes meet and he notices Tadashi's are a little bit red at the corners.] Runs in the family, carried over here, more or less. I quit a while back to go to college, but certain circumstances meant I picked it back up again. [And it's a good thing he did, too; that's the only thing keeping his bitterness at bay, that he contributed to Earth's survival. Or...he thinks he did. He'll never know for sure, will he?] Anyway, I know I suggested bowling, but how about takeout and never going outside ever again?
I'm fine not being a superhero. Already had that talk with Hiro, I'll leave that to him and his team. [Had he ever talked about that with anyone else? That Hiro and all his friends back home are superheroes now?
He scoots to make room on the couch.]
Sounds like a solid plan to me. Your choice, my treat.
Dangerous, [Wally warns, but honestly he'll get Tadashi back. It takes a second to remember how to use the comm's interface but he's scrolling for nearby places that do delivery, sitting on the arm of Tadashi's sofa.]
...y'know, the superhero thing- someone being a hero doesn't make them a good person. [He glances up at Tadashi before returning his attention to his comm, checking out the menu of a highly-rated pho restaurant.] And there's tons of good people, great people, who aren't superheroes. It's just- it's different. From how it always sounded before.
[From somewhere in the other bedroom, there's a tiny squeak of a noise. And then a small, long haired cat plodding through quickly carrying a teaser toy in its mouth. It drops the toy on the floor in front of them, then jumps onto the couch meowing at Tadashi.]
I know. [He just. Starts petting what is basically an oversized kitten. He thinks back to his parents, medical experts and doing anything they could to help. To his friends being ears to listen and shoulders to lean on when things got hard. His aunt raising them both when no one else would.]
...I don't remember if I thanked you for saving me that night. So... Thanks.
[Stares blankly before realizing that it's kind of a dick move to do that when someone thanks you for saving them]
-yeah. I- [Picks up his goggles to fiddle with them, picking at a scuff along one of the lens edges.] It's fine, you did. Or- I think you did. Or you don't have to thank me for that stuff, seriously.
[He shrugs, shifting the kitten so she's not on his leg but he can still pet her.]
Still wanted to. Anyway. [He holds one hand out for his phone and starts flipping through to make his own order and add it to Wally's oversized order.] You could probably use some carbs right?
You being here reminds me I should look into getting a tv or something.
[Wordlessly passes it over, glancing around as if just waking up.] Oh yeah, I mean, you got a fridge and a shower curtain and a front door but no TV? Priorities, man.
[It feels wrong. He's torn between being the Wally Tadashi remembers -funny, energetic, hopeful, life of the party- and, and whatever he is now. Wally has never been apologetic for his feelings before in his life but to subject Tadashi to whatever this is, it feels ungrateful.
The guy hunted him down and gave him his favorite donuts. And then like, hugged him while he cried. Maybe Wally can like, bootstrap and stop being such a downer, or something.]
[Tadashi living the bare minimum sort of... mirrors the whole situation somewhat. Wally had the right of it: Tadashi's a bit more muted than he was the last time he was here.
Could it be... depression?
Naaah.
But, that part of him that hasn't quit being a youth counselor rears itself while he places the order and sets his phone down.]
Look. I'm not gonna tell you how to feel or how to handle any of this. And I know I wasn't... [He rubs the back of his head. He wasn't family, he wasn't Wally's teammates from home. He was just... some guy he met here that happened to have a lot of mutual acquaintances and a similar fate.] If you ever need a place to crash and stop for a while, my place is always open. All right?
Smooth, [Wally quips automatically, even though he looks a little surprised that he was found out. Or not surprised. -no, kind of surprised. It's the differences in time that's really screwing with him, the five years there, however many years there; back home, Artemis can read him easy peasy, and probably Dick still can too (though lately that's made him more angry than appreciative). It's not like Wally's a closed book.
Tadashi's always been like that. They weren't- they were never close close, but they'd always been friends. When Wally would storm into the lab, Tadashi would turn his desktop wallpaper into a stupid meme during lunch break and make Wally laugh when he came back.]
Y'know, [Wally sighs, tilting his head back, hands gripping the knees of his slightly too long jeans,] times like this I wish I could get drunk. Be someone else's probably for a while, not remember any of it in the morning... You know what I mean?
[He knows a bunch of gross roadside snacks and some prank gifts won't fix this. It's going to take time and effort and support to help Wally right now. Tadashi just... hopes he can do it.
No, instead that kitten gives up on Tadashi and goes to nose at Wally's arm instead. New smell! Pet!]
Honestly? Kind of. I never did the whole getting drunk thing, but there were times I wished I did. For... exactly that reason.
[He gets up to dig through some boxes and pull out cups. Water time, just. Straight from the tap like an uncultured heathen. But it gives a little distance so they aren't so close while he admits this.]
You know. When I ported back in last fall. After checking if Hiro was still here, yours was one of the first two names I looked for.
[Wally is busy figuring out how to pet this unit of a cat when Tadashi admits that, swishing some water in the cups to get the dust out before filling them properly.]
Sorry I wasn't here. [It sounds insincere when he says it, so he tries again, voice softer as his fingers fold over the kitten's ears] ...I mean it. I'm sorry.
[He comes back over to set one cup down for Wally, then sits again.]
It's ... I mean, it sucked. But it's the fault of this whole place and the Porter and all that. Anyway, I wasn't saying that to make you feel bad or anything.
I know, man, you're mine too. I'm not- [Wally huffs through his nose, reaches forward to take the glass and down half of it to hopefully chase away a little of this headache.] You didn't. I'm not guilty. I just don't like that you didn't have everyone you wanted to see.
[Not even him, but Hiro, Cass, all his other friends. Maybe it was kind of like death, a little; everybody's moved on without you.]
[While Wally drinks half of his, Tadashi's sipping his pretty slowly.]
Once I realized it'd been two years since I was ported out, I had a feeling they'd all be gone.
[Is it any wonder the minute he knew Wally was back that he came running?]
What I'm getting at, what I'm trying to say.... Whatever you need, I'm here. Even if it's to just [he gestures vaguely] leave you alone and sit close by.
[Two years. So- damn. At the very least, that long for Wally.]
...yeah, no, I- [Finishes water. Words have never been this difficult coming to Wally. Maybe the shock is catching up with him, finally.] -I don't know.
[Holds onto the glass, staring blankly down at the ground where a coffee table would probably be, if the apartment wasn't nearly barren. The kitten, frustrated with a lack of fawning, decides instead to put fur all over Wally's superhero uniform.] I don't know what I need. If I need something. I'm-
[Taps a finger against the side of the glass, letting out a slow breath.] I'm...dead.
[Tadashi's quiet. Patient. He lets Wally start and stop however he needs to get to that conclusion. Tadashi could tell it had happened - not from any power or supernatural feeling or anything. Wally just... had that look when he found him. The same look he had in his own eyes when he ported back in right after burning to death, that he'd tried to hide from Hiro that afternoon. And every afternoon after.
It doesn't matter that much anymore.
God, he really should find something productive to put his energy to. Maybe working on those Sparrow specs he'd talked to Cayde about.]
I'm sorry.
[He doesn't say it to be placating or patronizing. He means it, genuinely. That's just... who Tadashi is. He's sorry his friend is dead. That he's having to have that realization here. But better here than on the street or in a house full of strangers.]
I knew it would happen. [Wally can hear his own voice, like it's detached from his body. Weird. Doesn't sound like him. Doesn't sound like someone about to have a meltdown...he doesn't feel like he's about to have a meltdown.] -no I didn't. I thought it might. Like everybody does, before they die, I guess.
[Glances up at Tadashi standing there, his half-full glass of water in his own hand, looking ten years older than he did a minute ago.] It's not like anybody plans for it.
[He listens, because it's what he's good at. Tadashi sets his glass on the counter and just listens. His expression pinches, just a little, just enough to show he's thinking. Because...]
No one ever does.
[His hands clench into fists on the counter, then relax.]
When I-- [Pause. Breathe. He never talked to anyone about this. He never even talked to Hiro about it, the kid always seemed so done and he never wanted to make it worse by talking about it. But then who else was he supposed to talk to about it? His eyes are down on that counter, he can't. Look at someone else while he talks about it. It's the first time he's ever vocalized any of what happened those few minutes. Those stupid, thoughtless few minutes.] When I ran into that building, I... knew. Not- not like I remembered this place, or that I'd known ahead of time what was going to happen. But like.. You walk through the door and you just know you aren't walking back out.
So I... get it.
Edited (YOU MISS ONE / AND THE REST IS RUINED) 2020-04-08 03:52 (UTC)
[The words coming out of Tadashi's mouth feel raw and bloody, like hamburger meat, and Wally gets the feeling it's the first time they've been said like this. Talking about it, about the big I.T. It sounds like how saying "I'm dead" felt, and Wally can't look away from how very, very still Tadashi is holding as he bores holes into the countertop.]
I know, man.
[He gets it. He knew once he was running that he wouldn't be running back. He figured, and he still was there, but it didn't seem like-] Doesn't feel real. Right? Even when you can just...tell, it's like- the- [Wally gestures with his hands, still holding the glass in one, circles around something in front of him that he can't see,] -the bigness doesn't hit you. It's just like if you realize that your car's out of gas, or that you forgot your phone at home.
[An inconvenience. Maybe it's different for Tadashi, but at the moment Wally knew he'd die, he just thought it was really annoying that he would go before finishing the job, before getting to say goodbye to Artemis, to his parents. It was just-]
[He nods because, while he can't find the right word for it, Wally gets it.]
That's exactly it. And. Then you wake up here, sometimes, and it's like. "Oh". He sighs and comes to sit back on the couch with his water. He's tired and dead but it looks like a little weight was lifted off his shoulders. At the very least, he'd been unconscious when he went. The burning beforehand was bad, but the support beam falling on him did the rest. He just can't... get that image out of his head, no matter how long it's been: Callaghan's silhouette in the flames in front of him with Hiro's microbots coming to him...
You don't have to. [Wally gets up and deposits his glass in the sink, just to have something to do with his body, just so he doesn't have to sit still as he skirts the edges of this big huge thing he doesn't want to face full-on.] This is your first time talking about it, isn't it?
Not even to vent? I- [holds up hands, hold on now,] Okay, this is an extreme case of the pot calling the kettle burnt, but like, what do you even do for stress relief? Volunteer at a soup kitchen?
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runningstart) wrote2020-04-05 07:22 pm
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Fucking Crane.Wally tosses his uniform onto Tadashi's couch, though he does pause for a minute after their eyes meet and he notices Tadashi's are a little bit red at the corners.] Runs in the family, carried over here, more or less. I quit a while back to go to college, but certain circumstances meant I picked it back up again. [And it's a good thing he did, too; that's the only thing keeping his bitterness at bay, that he contributed to Earth's survival. Or...he thinks he did. He'll never know for sure, will he?] Anyway, I know I suggested bowling, but how about takeout and never going outside ever again?
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He scoots to make room on the couch.]
Sounds like a solid plan to me. Your choice, my treat.
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...y'know, the superhero thing- someone being a hero doesn't make them a good person. [He glances up at Tadashi before returning his attention to his comm, checking out the menu of a highly-rated pho restaurant.] And there's tons of good people, great people, who aren't superheroes. It's just- it's different. From how it always sounded before.
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I know. [He just. Starts petting what is basically an oversized kitten. He thinks back to his parents, medical experts and doing anything they could to help. To his friends being ears to listen and shoulders to lean on when things got hard. His aunt raising them both when no one else would.]
...I don't remember if I thanked you for saving me that night. So... Thanks.
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-yeah. I- [Picks up his goggles to fiddle with them, picking at a scuff along one of the lens edges.] It's fine, you did. Or- I think you did. Or you don't have to thank me for that stuff, seriously.
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Still wanted to. Anyway. [He holds one hand out for his phone and starts flipping through to make his own order and add it to Wally's oversized order.] You could probably use some carbs right?
You being here reminds me I should look into getting a tv or something.
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[It feels wrong. He's torn between being the Wally Tadashi remembers -funny, energetic, hopeful, life of the party- and, and whatever he is now. Wally has never been apologetic for his feelings before in his life but to subject Tadashi to whatever this is, it feels ungrateful.
The guy hunted him down and gave him his favorite donuts. And then like, hugged him while he cried. Maybe Wally can like, bootstrap and stop being such a downer, or something.]
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Could it be... depression?
Naaah.
But, that part of him that hasn't quit being a youth counselor rears itself while he places the order and sets his phone down.]
Look. I'm not gonna tell you how to feel or how to handle any of this. And I know I wasn't... [He rubs the back of his head. He wasn't family, he wasn't Wally's teammates from home. He was just... some guy he met here that happened to have a lot of mutual acquaintances and a similar fate.] If you ever need a place to crash and stop for a while, my place is always open. All right?
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Tadashi's always been like that. They weren't- they were never close close, but they'd always been friends. When Wally would storm into the lab, Tadashi would turn his desktop wallpaper into a stupid meme during lunch break and make Wally laugh when he came back.]
Y'know, [Wally sighs, tilting his head back, hands gripping the knees of his slightly too long jeans,] times like this I wish I could get drunk. Be someone else's probably for a while, not remember any of it in the morning... You know what I mean?
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No, instead that kitten gives up on Tadashi and goes to nose at Wally's arm instead. New smell! Pet!]
Honestly? Kind of. I never did the whole getting drunk thing, but there were times I wished I did. For... exactly that reason.
[He gets up to dig through some boxes and pull out cups. Water time, just. Straight from the tap like an uncultured heathen. But it gives a little distance so they aren't so close while he admits this.]
You know. When I ported back in last fall. After checking if Hiro was still here, yours was one of the first two names I looked for.
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Sorry I wasn't here. [It sounds insincere when he says it, so he tries again, voice softer as his fingers fold over the kitten's ears] ...I mean it. I'm sorry.
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It's ... I mean, it sucked. But it's the fault of this whole place and the Porter and all that. Anyway, I wasn't saying that to make you feel bad or anything.
Just... You're my friend.
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[Not even him, but Hiro, Cass, all his other friends. Maybe it was kind of like death, a little; everybody's moved on without you.]
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Once I realized it'd been two years since I was ported out, I had a feeling they'd all be gone.
[Is it any wonder the minute he knew Wally was back that he came running?]
What I'm getting at, what I'm trying to say.... Whatever you need, I'm here. Even if it's to just [he gestures vaguely] leave you alone and sit close by.
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...yeah, no, I- [Finishes water. Words have never been this difficult coming to Wally. Maybe the shock is catching up with him, finally.] -I don't know.
[Holds onto the glass, staring blankly down at the ground where a coffee table would probably be, if the apartment wasn't nearly barren. The kitten, frustrated with a lack of fawning, decides instead to put fur all over Wally's superhero uniform.] I don't know what I need. If I need something. I'm-
[Taps a finger against the side of the glass, letting out a slow breath.] I'm...dead.
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It doesn't matter that much anymore.
God, he really should find something productive to put his energy to. Maybe working on those Sparrow specs he'd talked to Cayde about.]
I'm sorry.
[He doesn't say it to be placating or patronizing. He means it, genuinely. That's just... who Tadashi is. He's sorry his friend is dead. That he's having to have that realization here. But better here than on the street or in a house full of strangers.]
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[Glances up at Tadashi standing there, his half-full glass of water in his own hand, looking ten years older than he did a minute ago.] It's not like anybody plans for it.
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No one ever does.
[His hands clench into fists on the counter, then relax.]
When I-- [Pause. Breathe. He never talked to anyone about this. He never even talked to Hiro about it, the kid always seemed so done and he never wanted to make it worse by talking about it. But then who else was he supposed to talk to about it? His eyes are down on that counter, he can't. Look at someone else while he talks about it. It's the first time he's ever vocalized any of what happened those few minutes. Those stupid, thoughtless few minutes.] When I ran into that building, I... knew. Not- not like I remembered this place, or that I'd known ahead of time what was going to happen. But like.. You walk through the door and you just know you aren't walking back out.
So I... get it.
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I know, man.
[He gets it. He knew once he was running that he wouldn't be running back. He figured, and he still was there, but it didn't seem like-] Doesn't feel real. Right? Even when you can just...tell, it's like- the- [Wally gestures with his hands, still holding the glass in one, circles around something in front of him that he can't see,] -the bigness doesn't hit you. It's just like if you realize that your car's out of gas, or that you forgot your phone at home.
[An inconvenience. Maybe it's different for Tadashi, but at the moment Wally knew he'd die, he just thought it was really annoying that he would go before finishing the job, before getting to say goodbye to Artemis, to his parents. It was just-]
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That's exactly it. And. Then you wake up here, sometimes, and it's like. "Oh". He sighs and comes to sit back on the couch with his water. He's tired and dead but it looks like a little weight was lifted off his shoulders. At the very least, he'd been unconscious when he went. The burning beforehand was bad, but the support beam falling on him did the rest. He just can't... get that image out of his head, no matter how long it's been: Callaghan's silhouette in the flames in front of him with Hiro's microbots coming to him...
Tadashi rubs at his face with his free hand.]
I don't. Remember where I was going with that.
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MY HTML THO
Yeah. When I ported back in after it happened... everyone already knew. So there wasn't any reason to talk about it.
>.>
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